The lights and smoke,
The laser shows,
The loud bass bumping,
My true friend knows,
How much this is not me.
Crowded cities,
Sold out shows,
Fans ecstatic,
My true friend knows
How much this is not me.
Wide open spaces
Where the wild breeze blows
Living free,
My true friend knows
How much that this is me.
Smokey bar rooms
Small town shows
Work boots dancing
My true friend knows
How much that this is me.
Why must we do things
That we don’t want
Be like a puppet
Put up a front
To please everyone around you.
Be free and wild
Like a feral horse
Run with the wind
And then of course
I know that this is me.
I like the descriptions in this poem. My favorit part is when you say "Why must we do things That we don’t want Be like a puppet Put up a front To please everyone around you". I think it shows something everybody goes through. I think you should have gone a little more into detail and maybe described who is holding the puppet's strings. Overall I really like this poem. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI like the reoccurring "my true friend knows" then the last line is like a resolution that ends with "I know that this is me". I also like the description of "work boot dancing". It evokes some warm memories of hot afternoons and cold beers. If you were able to elaborate on a few of those scenes it could bulk up the poem.
ReplyDeleteKevin,
ReplyDeleteThis is the stuff. Keep it coming with poems like this. I think I'd like more original images of what country means to you. I like feral horse, but wild breeze could be more telling.
And, yeah, I'd expand this to give yourself more room to discuss the anger you feel about having to feel like a puppet sometimes.
Good.