Welcome my friends
to the show that never ends.
you take it in stride,
you try for amends.
Wherever it takes you,
its your ride to control.
life brings you down
it's about how you roll.
Its good to have trials,
they teach resilience.
you can get back on your feet
that is the brilliance
of the thing called life.
Its all what you make it.
just give it your best
be a man with true grit.
like the great bambino,
when things go awry,
heroes get remembered,
Legends don't die.
i really like this poem. I enjoy the rhymes and the general sentiment of it. The last stanza is my favorite but i am not sure if "when things go awry" fits. I may be forgetting a important piece of baseball history but what went awry for The Great Bambino? I also think that it should end with "Legends never die" just to make it more absolute. awesome poem
ReplyDeleteSome pretty solid rhymes here Kevin. Resilience and brilliance is a feminine rhyme (meaning it's a more than one syllable rhyming word).
ReplyDeleteI guess what I praise is also what I'd criticize: this is a fairly straightforward poem about a fairly straightforward life-philosophy. Not too many surprises, but not too much to quibble with. Some cliches that I think could go: "take it in stride"; "thing called life"; "give it your best"; "legends don't die."
Keep up the energetic writing, though.
Dave
P.S. I second Emily's comment. Did Babe Ruth have an epic collapse?
I think you used some really interesting words, however, a lot of old adages/cliches. Consider different phrasing, but otherwise, nice work. I didn't think Babe Ruth had anything like that happen either...
ReplyDelete